So I know that I have been home a while now (131 days and counting) but I wanted to put this last post in and finally complete this blog. I knew coming back to the states would be a whirl wind, but I was really hoping I wouldn’t get caught up in it all. Leaving the country of the Dominican Republic was one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life. When I left I so wanted things to be different here, to have changed the way God has moved and changed me, but life moves on everywhere. Transition was hard is hard. I hate to say it but I got caught up and caught up good.
Sharing my story with family and friends was a routine. If I could get my immediate family to ask me questions I would jump for joy. It was defiantly hard moving back home with my parents and siblings. As much as I thought I had changed I could not see any difference in them or if they saw any in me. I started working again a week and a half after I was home and I soon began to realize how much I missed working with my students. There is no reward it seems with what I am doing now. Just the daily routine of up early, home by 3pm, to bed early. There is so much more that I want to do but where in the world has my time gone.
Life really isn’t has horrible as I just made it all sound. I was lucky to have gotten a job as quick as I did. I would not have been able to take my parents advice and buy a house otherwise. Although I think their motive was for keeping me in the states longer. But I love being a home owner and being on my own again, and the four roommates are awesome. And I still get to keep involved in ministry with my church whether it be the Christmas Post production or children’s ministries or the new one, worship arts ministry.
Keeping up with life is hard but He never said it would be easy. Remembering that where ever I am is my ministry especially my job, keeps me going everyday. Memories will always be there but dwelling on what was will not get me to where I need to go and the direction that He has for me, whatever that may be. But whatever I do I will continue to do it for Him. Isaiah 43
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
One More Week...
The past couple of days I have been taking a look at my last seven months here in the Dominican Republic. Realizing that it is all coming to an end all to quickly has got me to thinking of all the fun times, hard times, and times where I have seen God work in me and through me, but most of all how much God has changed me this year. I never would have thought that coming and living here was ever a part of the plan but as I look back and take it all in, this was it, this was exactly where I needed to be.
I have done some things here that I would never have been able to say before if I had not followed where God was leading me. I have lived in another country for seven months, hiked down and back up a mountain (more than 5 times), swam at the bottom of a waterfall, meringue danced on the bank of a river, shared in deep discussions along the river, on the beach, and at waterfall edges. I have had more spirits lifted through laughter than I can count, strengthened and made new friendships, built relationships that will never be forgotten. I have fallen in love... with the children that I am with everyday, with this country and the people, and with life here. Leaving will be one of the hardest thing that I will have to do. I have been dreading it since even the first week I was here. As I look back it seems like just yesterday I was stepping off the plane into this country, not knowing what to expect or what God was going to show me in the process of being here.
A few weeks ago I would have said I was defiantly not ready to go home. It scared me to death to think about going home and what that would mean for me. What was I going to do and what was next was just not what I wanted to think about. But all my fear about it has just been taken away on little thing at a time. There is a path for me and God has been faithful to reveal it to me in His own time. I should know by now that He has everything in control and what He has planed for me will be revealed in good time. Although I am super sad to leave this place I am excited for what is to come. I am excited to tell all what God has done here and in my life and what that now means. He is faithful and will continue to be faithful.
I have done some things here that I would never have been able to say before if I had not followed where God was leading me. I have lived in another country for seven months, hiked down and back up a mountain (more than 5 times), swam at the bottom of a waterfall, meringue danced on the bank of a river, shared in deep discussions along the river, on the beach, and at waterfall edges. I have had more spirits lifted through laughter than I can count, strengthened and made new friendships, built relationships that will never be forgotten. I have fallen in love... with the children that I am with everyday, with this country and the people, and with life here. Leaving will be one of the hardest thing that I will have to do. I have been dreading it since even the first week I was here. As I look back it seems like just yesterday I was stepping off the plane into this country, not knowing what to expect or what God was going to show me in the process of being here.
A few weeks ago I would have said I was defiantly not ready to go home. It scared me to death to think about going home and what that would mean for me. What was I going to do and what was next was just not what I wanted to think about. But all my fear about it has just been taken away on little thing at a time. There is a path for me and God has been faithful to reveal it to me in His own time. I should know by now that He has everything in control and what He has planed for me will be revealed in good time. Although I am super sad to leave this place I am excited for what is to come. I am excited to tell all what God has done here and in my life and what that now means. He is faithful and will continue to be faithful.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Pieces of My Heart
So here we are a day into the last push of our summer here in the DR. What a summer it has been already. I know I always say that I am going to miss it here, and I am slowly coming to terms with that and what it will be like when I am home, but with each passing day and week the closer I come to terms of leaving the further away I seem to get as well. I walked into the school this afternoon after a long weekend away and was greeted by a Christine, Christine, Christine!!! Of course there is a little bit of an accent added to it that might be my favorite part. These kids! They have a piece of my heart that I am afraid is going to be left here in the DR.
I cant put into enough words everything that God has taught me and shown me here. I know I am going back to the States different in so many ways. God has shown me so much of his character, love and faithfulness, and patience. I knew all of these things but there is always new ways to experience them and being here all these months has just been the place for me. Every time I tell my testimony, I see so many more places in my life where God was pushing me to this place. As I look back I am amazed to see where I was even just a year or so ago and where I am now. I feel Gods presents so much more in my life and as I seek Him more in all decisions that I am making and not on others opinions or my own judgment but on His will for my life.
There are only two and a half weeks left where I will be able to walk into the school and be greeted by so many names, Christine (of course with that accent), Christina (as Jonathan says and as I respond Jonathona), Tin Tin (as Vladimir says and others have adopted). There are only so many more hugs and kisses on the cheek left and only a few more opportunities to hold them tight on the benches out front. I want them to be shown as much love as they have poured out on me these last seven months, and that may possibly be my goal for this time. That and just making the most of what God still has to show me here and to not forget everything that I have gained here.
I cant put into enough words everything that God has taught me and shown me here. I know I am going back to the States different in so many ways. God has shown me so much of his character, love and faithfulness, and patience. I knew all of these things but there is always new ways to experience them and being here all these months has just been the place for me. Every time I tell my testimony, I see so many more places in my life where God was pushing me to this place. As I look back I am amazed to see where I was even just a year or so ago and where I am now. I feel Gods presents so much more in my life and as I seek Him more in all decisions that I am making and not on others opinions or my own judgment but on His will for my life.
There are only two and a half weeks left where I will be able to walk into the school and be greeted by so many names, Christine (of course with that accent), Christina (as Jonathan says and as I respond Jonathona), Tin Tin (as Vladimir says and others have adopted). There are only so many more hugs and kisses on the cheek left and only a few more opportunities to hold them tight on the benches out front. I want them to be shown as much love as they have poured out on me these last seven months, and that may possibly be my goal for this time. That and just making the most of what God still has to show me here and to not forget everything that I have gained here.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Thinking...
I cant believe that I have been here for almost six months, on a seven month journey that I started in January. As I look back I have done a lot here and God has continued to show me more and more things about Him and myself. Being in full swing of our summer program, we are super busy working with teams and our ministry sites but it has been great. I have been coming to terms also with the fact that I am leaving soon and have been starting to prepare myself for that. Not such an easy task but one that I need to do.
I have so much running through my head right now, none of which I should be worried about, but you know its just a lot to think about. A lot of it has to do with going home and what is going to be there for me when I get back, but also a lot has to do with this place. Thinking about coming back is one thing but will it actually happen? Will I ever see some of these kids again, I cant promise them that I will but it is a big hope of mine. Just things like these that keep running in and out of my head and ideas that I have like possibly leading a team down next year and what that would look like, and coming on staff with SI and what that would look like. Just so much to think about.
Focusing on the here and now has been my goal for the summer, and will continue to be so. Like I have said before I have come to love it so much here and the people here, and just everything really, that I don’t want to miss a single thing. I owe a lot to the community here that has helped me stay focused on what I am doing and just really keeps me laughing and on my toes. I could not have asked for a better intern/volunteer/staff family. So on Monday our fourth out of five and a one week teams get here, and we will start the finally leg of our amazing summer.
I have so much running through my head right now, none of which I should be worried about, but you know its just a lot to think about. A lot of it has to do with going home and what is going to be there for me when I get back, but also a lot has to do with this place. Thinking about coming back is one thing but will it actually happen? Will I ever see some of these kids again, I cant promise them that I will but it is a big hope of mine. Just things like these that keep running in and out of my head and ideas that I have like possibly leading a team down next year and what that would look like, and coming on staff with SI and what that would look like. Just so much to think about.
Focusing on the here and now has been my goal for the summer, and will continue to be so. Like I have said before I have come to love it so much here and the people here, and just everything really, that I don’t want to miss a single thing. I owe a lot to the community here that has helped me stay focused on what I am doing and just really keeps me laughing and on my toes. I could not have asked for a better intern/volunteer/staff family. So on Monday our fourth out of five and a one week teams get here, and we will start the finally leg of our amazing summer.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Why This Fear?
I cant believe that summer has started already. The last two weeks I have been wondering where the first part of the year went, and then I look back at all my journals and blogs and realize, oh yeah that’s what I did and what I was feeling and where God has been leading me. It really has been a journey that I will never forget and one that will have changed who I am for a life time.
Our first summer group was really awesome! I had four occupational therapy students working with me and I have never seen so much progress in those kids in just two short weeks! They taught me so much about what OT really is and skills that I can use for the rest of the summer, I am so excited about that! These kids mean so much to me and seeing even just a little progress makes my day.
As a whole I think that I am doing really good right now. There are some things that I am struggling with and trying not to think about to much, like the fact that there are only nine more weeks left. Being here has become such a huge part of my life. it’s a place where I have fallen in love with the culture and people and thinking about leaving has my heart in this weird place. I want to enjoy the time that I have left here and not be thinking about this, and take in everyday and let God show me more of Him. Its also a very busy summer. There are very few days that we get off and that doesn’t really bother me, I like to keep busy, and doing the work that I am doing here is exactly what I am supposed to be doing right now and I enjoy it. Last night we had just a worship night around a campfire, and it is things like that where God continues to amaze me and surprise me with His love and grace and beauty.
I think what it really is, is that I am on this high-low right now, where God is so much present in my life and seeing the changes that He is making in me, but there is this thing in the back of my mind that might be fear. Kind of a fear of the unknown, of what is going to happen in August, when I go home, fear of going home, of not giving it my all these next couple of months. I know that this has been there since the beginning but it is just coming out in full force for some reason these past few weeks. I know that God has it all under control and there is no need for me to fear about what is going to happen. It will happen and it will be Gods plan. What is really funny is that each of us interns have been assigned a word to do a little three minute message on, and mine is "fear". I really did want to study this, maybe mostly in the beginning so that I don’t mess it up when I actually have to give this message, but there were some passages that really convicted me. I really have to check myself and completely trust God. All in all it is a trust issue.
I know that it is going to be a great summer. I mean how can it not be with all the wonderful people God has put in my life right now. Yep that would be you interns and volunteers, Vicki and Josh, and many more! So I am going into this next week with a new attitude I have decided. I mean there will always be the fact that I am going home in August but I don’t want to miss something here that God is trying to teach me because I am fearful of the future and everything else. Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears."
Our first summer group was really awesome! I had four occupational therapy students working with me and I have never seen so much progress in those kids in just two short weeks! They taught me so much about what OT really is and skills that I can use for the rest of the summer, I am so excited about that! These kids mean so much to me and seeing even just a little progress makes my day.
As a whole I think that I am doing really good right now. There are some things that I am struggling with and trying not to think about to much, like the fact that there are only nine more weeks left. Being here has become such a huge part of my life. it’s a place where I have fallen in love with the culture and people and thinking about leaving has my heart in this weird place. I want to enjoy the time that I have left here and not be thinking about this, and take in everyday and let God show me more of Him. Its also a very busy summer. There are very few days that we get off and that doesn’t really bother me, I like to keep busy, and doing the work that I am doing here is exactly what I am supposed to be doing right now and I enjoy it. Last night we had just a worship night around a campfire, and it is things like that where God continues to amaze me and surprise me with His love and grace and beauty.
I think what it really is, is that I am on this high-low right now, where God is so much present in my life and seeing the changes that He is making in me, but there is this thing in the back of my mind that might be fear. Kind of a fear of the unknown, of what is going to happen in August, when I go home, fear of going home, of not giving it my all these next couple of months. I know that this has been there since the beginning but it is just coming out in full force for some reason these past few weeks. I know that God has it all under control and there is no need for me to fear about what is going to happen. It will happen and it will be Gods plan. What is really funny is that each of us interns have been assigned a word to do a little three minute message on, and mine is "fear". I really did want to study this, maybe mostly in the beginning so that I don’t mess it up when I actually have to give this message, but there were some passages that really convicted me. I really have to check myself and completely trust God. All in all it is a trust issue.
I know that it is going to be a great summer. I mean how can it not be with all the wonderful people God has put in my life right now. Yep that would be you interns and volunteers, Vicki and Josh, and many more! So I am going into this next week with a new attitude I have decided. I mean there will always be the fact that I am going home in August but I don’t want to miss something here that God is trying to teach me because I am fearful of the future and everything else. Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears."
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Here We Go!!!!
What a week and a half it has been. I want to document this week and all that went on because it was such a huge week. I am reminded of a quote from the oldest man that goes a little something like this, "Embrace change even when it slaps you in the face."
That being said, it was such a high coming off the retreat weekend that I really wasn't thinking about all the changes that were going to happen in the week to come. I knew it was all coming and I thought that I was ready for it all but wow what a change. Monday night Jeff moved out of the "intern house", and with his suitcase all packed up and rolled out to the living area it looked like he was leaving forever. I know, that is really dramatic, but it was a change that I didn’t see happening until it was happening. The next three nights were good for me, all be it different, but it really gave me a chance to pray and think over all that I had gained from over the weekend and helped confirm some things that I had been thinking about. God has a crazy way of working those things out. There are also some new ideas running around in my head that could be a good, we will see. More to come on that.
Thursday the other interns arrived! I was so happy to see B, apparently I could not stop smiling. We have all been having so much fun, I can really tell that we are going to be getting along really well! I am rooming with Ariana and Meghan, in the other room there is B and Rachael and Erin, and Kelly. For the guys there are Jessie and Chris and Myles who is a volunteer with Jeff and Angie! It is defiantly going to be a summer to remember. We have already had to many laughs to count, including game night with nothing else but telephone charades.
We have also had our first summer team here. Our group at Genesis is amazing. I get the chance to work with some occupational therapists and they are teaching me so much about it and I can see that we can defiantly make some progress with these amazing kids this summer. I am totally pumped for it! I know I have said this before but I have fallen in love with the school and the kids and cant imagine doing anything else right now. God has put me here for a purpose and I fell like I am finally getting it.
Along with all of these amazing things going on and amazing people that are here, I have been struggling a little with it. I stated off with a quote about embracing change, but I really do a horrible job at that. I miss the quiet but at the same time I am really excited that everyone is here. There also seems like so much more to do which there really isn’t just teams from here on out. Its like a battle going on in my head and heart that has got me all confused. Through it all though God has just been showing me more about myself and its been good. There are always ups and downs and sideways and all around but God will be there for it all.
Moving forward... Here we go!!! This summer is going to be the best one of our lives.
That being said, it was such a high coming off the retreat weekend that I really wasn't thinking about all the changes that were going to happen in the week to come. I knew it was all coming and I thought that I was ready for it all but wow what a change. Monday night Jeff moved out of the "intern house", and with his suitcase all packed up and rolled out to the living area it looked like he was leaving forever. I know, that is really dramatic, but it was a change that I didn’t see happening until it was happening. The next three nights were good for me, all be it different, but it really gave me a chance to pray and think over all that I had gained from over the weekend and helped confirm some things that I had been thinking about. God has a crazy way of working those things out. There are also some new ideas running around in my head that could be a good, we will see. More to come on that.
Thursday the other interns arrived! I was so happy to see B, apparently I could not stop smiling. We have all been having so much fun, I can really tell that we are going to be getting along really well! I am rooming with Ariana and Meghan, in the other room there is B and Rachael and Erin, and Kelly. For the guys there are Jessie and Chris and Myles who is a volunteer with Jeff and Angie! It is defiantly going to be a summer to remember. We have already had to many laughs to count, including game night with nothing else but telephone charades.
We have also had our first summer team here. Our group at Genesis is amazing. I get the chance to work with some occupational therapists and they are teaching me so much about it and I can see that we can defiantly make some progress with these amazing kids this summer. I am totally pumped for it! I know I have said this before but I have fallen in love with the school and the kids and cant imagine doing anything else right now. God has put me here for a purpose and I fell like I am finally getting it.
Along with all of these amazing things going on and amazing people that are here, I have been struggling a little with it. I stated off with a quote about embracing change, but I really do a horrible job at that. I miss the quiet but at the same time I am really excited that everyone is here. There also seems like so much more to do which there really isn’t just teams from here on out. Its like a battle going on in my head and heart that has got me all confused. Through it all though God has just been showing me more about myself and its been good. There are always ups and downs and sideways and all around but God will be there for it all.
Moving forward... Here we go!!! This summer is going to be the best one of our lives.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
My Mission
This weekend we are (were) on a staff retreat. To tell you the truth I was not entirely looking forward to it, because I was basing my opinions solely on what was being said about the place itself and not about what we were going to be doing there, for some reason. Ummm, so I was wrong. I am going to try to tie all of this together so bear with me if it seems like I am going off in another direction than what I previously started with. I have been reading in a book that I want to reflect on and of course share a little about what this weekend was like for me as well.
The book that I am reading through right now is called “The Organic God” by Margaret Feinberg. I must confess that I have had this book sitting on a shelf at home for the past five years, and I brought it here thinking that I might have time to read some books maybe even this one. I cant help but think that it was not by accident. Even thought it has a really simple and “I have heard that before” theme it so far has been just what I needed to hear. Its all about falling in love with God again and strengthening your relationship with Him in an “organic“ way.
A couple chapters into the book I found myself really taking a look at myself, and realizing that this past month I have felt a little lost and unsure sometimes. And then this verse, Isaiah 43:1-3 “But now, this is what the Lord says, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” I underlined three words in this because they are the three words that speak out the loudest to me and mean so much. Through everything that I might be going through, He is still always there, He is still God, He is still Father, Abba, it’s a promise, “you are mine”. This is such a comfort for me to think about and to know that I am His. I cant leave out also that this reminded me of a song that B, a very good friend of mine, and I wrote this past summer. No kidding the song is called “You Are Mine”. The chores goes a little like this if I can remember it all correctly, “I’m here waiting, your done breaking, I’m shining out my light. And I will never, leave you to wonder, bended knee come to me, you are mine.” It has a whole new meaning to me. When we were sitting in the park writing this it was just cool and we were having fun with it, but now I can see the true meaning behind it and, wow. He whispers just three words and an overwhelming peace comes over me.
I would defiantly say that coming here to the Dominican Republic has changed me, in more ways than I probably know right now. Yes, I have been forced out of my box in a sense, and have had to give some things up that really in all reality we could all do without, and have been able to focus on God and me. My relationship with Him. And by doing that have been able to see, so much clearer than before, His teachings, and what He has for me. I am learning so much about who God is and with Him learning so much about myself. I know that without Him everything that I am doing here would not be. I know that I have a purpose here and I came here to follow Him in that.
Our speaker this weekend pastor Don had this to say Friday night. “Jesus didn’t die to keep you safe, Jesus died to make you dangerous!” This might seem strange, not going to lie, with his heavy southern accent, I thought, this guy, ummmm ok. But there is a point behind it, and might be one that you have heard before but not quite in this way. So that box that I have been forced out of…well that is just one box, I find that there are many we can put ourselves in. So I have also put myself in a “missionary box” and have classified myself, if even being short term, as such. That might be what I am doing right now, this is what God has called me to do right now, but I am still Christine… I am, in the words from above, “His” called to do one thing, follow Him. Matthew 19:16-30 tells of the story of the rich young man, and when he asked “What do I still lack?” Jesus gave the answer “Sell everything and follow me”. Sound easy enough, yes? I think that even more so now than then it is difficult to say the least. I can say that I defiantly try, but find myself falling at every corner, getting lost, unfocused. I lose some of my dangerousness that is, living for God in a way that makes us “dangerous“, exciting, different! Living a life focused on one thing, and that is to bring people to the kingdom.
I think for me this past month I was lacking motivation and forgetting the reason why I had come here. I mean not completely but I was just in one of these places where I don’t know where to go next and it was getting me down. This weekend I just felt God so much, His Spirit just filling me again in a way that I have not had in a while. The worship was fantastic, the messages right on, and the community great. None of these things by themselves had anything to do with it but together and what God did through them just lifted my soul up. I feel so motivated, refreshed, reconnected, refocused and ready to be a leader this summer. Its My Mission.
I want to ask this question, and I may be taking it out of the book that I am reading, but I really like it and her answer was really close to what mine was. So the question is “What do you love about Jesus?” Take a minute think about it.
For me its God’s beauty. And it goes much deeper than this world that He has created for us. I do love to look at beautiful sunset on the beach and it more often than not makes me thank God for all the beauty that He has given us, but its deeper. Its His Love for us, His healing for us, its all of Him. He is the beauty we find when we get to know Him better. By getting to know the creator we get to see the beauty of this world that He has created for us. Its awesome! Its like seeing things in a whole new way. I love this quote form the book, “He reveals what is ultimately beautiful in a way we could never imagine, and in the process we reflect a little more beauty ourselves, thus drawing others to him.” I don’t know about you but this is what I want to reflect! This mission that I am on, this is what its all about. This is what God had in store for me all along.
The book that I am reading through right now is called “The Organic God” by Margaret Feinberg. I must confess that I have had this book sitting on a shelf at home for the past five years, and I brought it here thinking that I might have time to read some books maybe even this one. I cant help but think that it was not by accident. Even thought it has a really simple and “I have heard that before” theme it so far has been just what I needed to hear. Its all about falling in love with God again and strengthening your relationship with Him in an “organic“ way.
A couple chapters into the book I found myself really taking a look at myself, and realizing that this past month I have felt a little lost and unsure sometimes. And then this verse, Isaiah 43:1-3 “But now, this is what the Lord says, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” I underlined three words in this because they are the three words that speak out the loudest to me and mean so much. Through everything that I might be going through, He is still always there, He is still God, He is still Father, Abba, it’s a promise, “you are mine”. This is such a comfort for me to think about and to know that I am His. I cant leave out also that this reminded me of a song that B, a very good friend of mine, and I wrote this past summer. No kidding the song is called “You Are Mine”. The chores goes a little like this if I can remember it all correctly, “I’m here waiting, your done breaking, I’m shining out my light. And I will never, leave you to wonder, bended knee come to me, you are mine.” It has a whole new meaning to me. When we were sitting in the park writing this it was just cool and we were having fun with it, but now I can see the true meaning behind it and, wow. He whispers just three words and an overwhelming peace comes over me.
I would defiantly say that coming here to the Dominican Republic has changed me, in more ways than I probably know right now. Yes, I have been forced out of my box in a sense, and have had to give some things up that really in all reality we could all do without, and have been able to focus on God and me. My relationship with Him. And by doing that have been able to see, so much clearer than before, His teachings, and what He has for me. I am learning so much about who God is and with Him learning so much about myself. I know that without Him everything that I am doing here would not be. I know that I have a purpose here and I came here to follow Him in that.
Our speaker this weekend pastor Don had this to say Friday night. “Jesus didn’t die to keep you safe, Jesus died to make you dangerous!” This might seem strange, not going to lie, with his heavy southern accent, I thought, this guy, ummmm ok. But there is a point behind it, and might be one that you have heard before but not quite in this way. So that box that I have been forced out of…well that is just one box, I find that there are many we can put ourselves in. So I have also put myself in a “missionary box” and have classified myself, if even being short term, as such. That might be what I am doing right now, this is what God has called me to do right now, but I am still Christine… I am, in the words from above, “His” called to do one thing, follow Him. Matthew 19:16-30 tells of the story of the rich young man, and when he asked “What do I still lack?” Jesus gave the answer “Sell everything and follow me”. Sound easy enough, yes? I think that even more so now than then it is difficult to say the least. I can say that I defiantly try, but find myself falling at every corner, getting lost, unfocused. I lose some of my dangerousness that is, living for God in a way that makes us “dangerous“, exciting, different! Living a life focused on one thing, and that is to bring people to the kingdom.
I think for me this past month I was lacking motivation and forgetting the reason why I had come here. I mean not completely but I was just in one of these places where I don’t know where to go next and it was getting me down. This weekend I just felt God so much, His Spirit just filling me again in a way that I have not had in a while. The worship was fantastic, the messages right on, and the community great. None of these things by themselves had anything to do with it but together and what God did through them just lifted my soul up. I feel so motivated, refreshed, reconnected, refocused and ready to be a leader this summer. Its My Mission.
I want to ask this question, and I may be taking it out of the book that I am reading, but I really like it and her answer was really close to what mine was. So the question is “What do you love about Jesus?” Take a minute think about it.
For me its God’s beauty. And it goes much deeper than this world that He has created for us. I do love to look at beautiful sunset on the beach and it more often than not makes me thank God for all the beauty that He has given us, but its deeper. Its His Love for us, His healing for us, its all of Him. He is the beauty we find when we get to know Him better. By getting to know the creator we get to see the beauty of this world that He has created for us. Its awesome! Its like seeing things in a whole new way. I love this quote form the book, “He reveals what is ultimately beautiful in a way we could never imagine, and in the process we reflect a little more beauty ourselves, thus drawing others to him.” I don’t know about you but this is what I want to reflect! This mission that I am on, this is what its all about. This is what God had in store for me all along.
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