Huh, what? Me?

This past week or since I last bloged, God has thrown some things into my life and shown me some things about myself that are crazy and yet good!

I am realizing now more than ever that, yes I did come here to the DR to serve God and the people here and that yeah maybe while I was here God would show me a little more of who He is and who I am. And yes in the back of my mind I knew that it could be that I would get a lot more out of this experience than I would be able to give, but that wasn’t my main propose for coming here. I heard a call and I followed. Isn’t this what we are all supposed to do? Whether it is to go to a foreign country or somewhere in your own back yard we are called to follow Him and His plan for our lives.

Maybe because I thought that coming here it would be easier to listen and follow and to just walk with Him, but in all honesty it seems harder. I don’t want to seem all holier than thou because I defiantly am not, but being here and completely surrendered to what He wants me to do for His Kingdom it seems harder to listen and to follow and know where He wants me to go next. It is this constant struggle of what I am supposed to do next and where I can see myself and where He sees me.

I have been asked, if it all works out for this couple, to come back in January and tutor their two handicapped children. Huh, what? Me? My first thought and question was what qualifies me to take on that responsibility? The next thought that went through my head in that second was, for sure, I would love to!!, then taking a step back and saying to myself wow that’s like five months after I get home, and then being like well maybe this is why God placed me at Genesis, and I wonder if this is what He has been preparing me for... You can imagine all the things that were going through my head in that second that they asked me to consider and pray with them about all of this. It is a huge commitment and one that yea I can see where that could be an amazing opportunity but is it where God wants me for the next few years? Yeah years. And so I had to take a step back and although I told them that I would be praying that God would lead me to the right decision, it has been surreal to think that this is a possibility for me. For the past week and a half I have been praying about it and talking to some people here and some of you back home and have had a lot of feedback on it. Do I know for sure what is going to happen, absolutely not. Do I still think it is as exiting as when they first mentioned it, yea a little. So I am continuing to pray and ask for guidance because jumping in and saying yes or no is not what I want to do and ultimately not what God wants me to do either. So I ask for you all to pray with me on this and that God would show me the way in this situation.

So along with this amazement of being here in the DR to the place where I know that God called me to be back in August, to the here and now, and what could potentially be a future here, I would defiantly say that it is harder. Back home it was so easy to fill my life with worldly things and take on way to much responsibilities and get caught up in that kind of life, not have enough quiet to really listen to what He was saying to me. I see that now, it didn’t really even cross my mind then that I was doing way to much, but I see that now. And maybe that’s all that He was looking for when He asked this of me. There is so much more to life than just living and following the motions, and yeah I am sure that there will be a time in my life again that I will find myself lost in it all but that I know how to come back and listen, really listen to what God is saying to me. We all have a purpose and I might have found mine for right now but He is always calling us to do His work, we just have to listen to where exactly that is. So I defiantly don’t have it all figured out, and out of all the little voices, mostly my own, that are shouting things to me of places and dreams, there is only One that I have to and need to listen to. It is a constant battle with me but I am seeking His word and sitting in silence with Him, and I know when the time is right He will give me the answers that I seek Him for.