So I know that I have been home a while now (131 days and counting) but I wanted to put this last post in and finally complete this blog. I knew coming back to the states would be a whirl wind, but I was really hoping I wouldn’t get caught up in it all. Leaving the country of the Dominican Republic was one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life. When I left I so wanted things to be different here, to have changed the way God has moved and changed me, but life moves on everywhere. Transition was hard is hard. I hate to say it but I got caught up and caught up good.
Sharing my story with family and friends was a routine. If I could get my immediate family to ask me questions I would jump for joy. It was defiantly hard moving back home with my parents and siblings. As much as I thought I had changed I could not see any difference in them or if they saw any in me. I started working again a week and a half after I was home and I soon began to realize how much I missed working with my students. There is no reward it seems with what I am doing now. Just the daily routine of up early, home by 3pm, to bed early. There is so much more that I want to do but where in the world has my time gone.
Life really isn’t has horrible as I just made it all sound. I was lucky to have gotten a job as quick as I did. I would not have been able to take my parents advice and buy a house otherwise. Although I think their motive was for keeping me in the states longer. But I love being a home owner and being on my own again, and the four roommates are awesome. And I still get to keep involved in ministry with my church whether it be the Christmas Post production or children’s ministries or the new one, worship arts ministry.
Keeping up with life is hard but He never said it would be easy. Remembering that where ever I am is my ministry especially my job, keeps me going everyday. Memories will always be there but dwelling on what was will not get me to where I need to go and the direction that He has for me, whatever that may be. But whatever I do I will continue to do it for Him. Isaiah 43
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
One More Week...
The past couple of days I have been taking a look at my last seven months here in the Dominican Republic. Realizing that it is all coming to an end all to quickly has got me to thinking of all the fun times, hard times, and times where I have seen God work in me and through me, but most of all how much God has changed me this year. I never would have thought that coming and living here was ever a part of the plan but as I look back and take it all in, this was it, this was exactly where I needed to be.
I have done some things here that I would never have been able to say before if I had not followed where God was leading me. I have lived in another country for seven months, hiked down and back up a mountain (more than 5 times), swam at the bottom of a waterfall, meringue danced on the bank of a river, shared in deep discussions along the river, on the beach, and at waterfall edges. I have had more spirits lifted through laughter than I can count, strengthened and made new friendships, built relationships that will never be forgotten. I have fallen in love... with the children that I am with everyday, with this country and the people, and with life here. Leaving will be one of the hardest thing that I will have to do. I have been dreading it since even the first week I was here. As I look back it seems like just yesterday I was stepping off the plane into this country, not knowing what to expect or what God was going to show me in the process of being here.
A few weeks ago I would have said I was defiantly not ready to go home. It scared me to death to think about going home and what that would mean for me. What was I going to do and what was next was just not what I wanted to think about. But all my fear about it has just been taken away on little thing at a time. There is a path for me and God has been faithful to reveal it to me in His own time. I should know by now that He has everything in control and what He has planed for me will be revealed in good time. Although I am super sad to leave this place I am excited for what is to come. I am excited to tell all what God has done here and in my life and what that now means. He is faithful and will continue to be faithful.
I have done some things here that I would never have been able to say before if I had not followed where God was leading me. I have lived in another country for seven months, hiked down and back up a mountain (more than 5 times), swam at the bottom of a waterfall, meringue danced on the bank of a river, shared in deep discussions along the river, on the beach, and at waterfall edges. I have had more spirits lifted through laughter than I can count, strengthened and made new friendships, built relationships that will never be forgotten. I have fallen in love... with the children that I am with everyday, with this country and the people, and with life here. Leaving will be one of the hardest thing that I will have to do. I have been dreading it since even the first week I was here. As I look back it seems like just yesterday I was stepping off the plane into this country, not knowing what to expect or what God was going to show me in the process of being here.
A few weeks ago I would have said I was defiantly not ready to go home. It scared me to death to think about going home and what that would mean for me. What was I going to do and what was next was just not what I wanted to think about. But all my fear about it has just been taken away on little thing at a time. There is a path for me and God has been faithful to reveal it to me in His own time. I should know by now that He has everything in control and what He has planed for me will be revealed in good time. Although I am super sad to leave this place I am excited for what is to come. I am excited to tell all what God has done here and in my life and what that now means. He is faithful and will continue to be faithful.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Pieces of My Heart
So here we are a day into the last push of our summer here in the DR. What a summer it has been already. I know I always say that I am going to miss it here, and I am slowly coming to terms with that and what it will be like when I am home, but with each passing day and week the closer I come to terms of leaving the further away I seem to get as well. I walked into the school this afternoon after a long weekend away and was greeted by a Christine, Christine, Christine!!! Of course there is a little bit of an accent added to it that might be my favorite part. These kids! They have a piece of my heart that I am afraid is going to be left here in the DR.
I cant put into enough words everything that God has taught me and shown me here. I know I am going back to the States different in so many ways. God has shown me so much of his character, love and faithfulness, and patience. I knew all of these things but there is always new ways to experience them and being here all these months has just been the place for me. Every time I tell my testimony, I see so many more places in my life where God was pushing me to this place. As I look back I am amazed to see where I was even just a year or so ago and where I am now. I feel Gods presents so much more in my life and as I seek Him more in all decisions that I am making and not on others opinions or my own judgment but on His will for my life.
There are only two and a half weeks left where I will be able to walk into the school and be greeted by so many names, Christine (of course with that accent), Christina (as Jonathan says and as I respond Jonathona), Tin Tin (as Vladimir says and others have adopted). There are only so many more hugs and kisses on the cheek left and only a few more opportunities to hold them tight on the benches out front. I want them to be shown as much love as they have poured out on me these last seven months, and that may possibly be my goal for this time. That and just making the most of what God still has to show me here and to not forget everything that I have gained here.
I cant put into enough words everything that God has taught me and shown me here. I know I am going back to the States different in so many ways. God has shown me so much of his character, love and faithfulness, and patience. I knew all of these things but there is always new ways to experience them and being here all these months has just been the place for me. Every time I tell my testimony, I see so many more places in my life where God was pushing me to this place. As I look back I am amazed to see where I was even just a year or so ago and where I am now. I feel Gods presents so much more in my life and as I seek Him more in all decisions that I am making and not on others opinions or my own judgment but on His will for my life.
There are only two and a half weeks left where I will be able to walk into the school and be greeted by so many names, Christine (of course with that accent), Christina (as Jonathan says and as I respond Jonathona), Tin Tin (as Vladimir says and others have adopted). There are only so many more hugs and kisses on the cheek left and only a few more opportunities to hold them tight on the benches out front. I want them to be shown as much love as they have poured out on me these last seven months, and that may possibly be my goal for this time. That and just making the most of what God still has to show me here and to not forget everything that I have gained here.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Thinking...
I cant believe that I have been here for almost six months, on a seven month journey that I started in January. As I look back I have done a lot here and God has continued to show me more and more things about Him and myself. Being in full swing of our summer program, we are super busy working with teams and our ministry sites but it has been great. I have been coming to terms also with the fact that I am leaving soon and have been starting to prepare myself for that. Not such an easy task but one that I need to do.
I have so much running through my head right now, none of which I should be worried about, but you know its just a lot to think about. A lot of it has to do with going home and what is going to be there for me when I get back, but also a lot has to do with this place. Thinking about coming back is one thing but will it actually happen? Will I ever see some of these kids again, I cant promise them that I will but it is a big hope of mine. Just things like these that keep running in and out of my head and ideas that I have like possibly leading a team down next year and what that would look like, and coming on staff with SI and what that would look like. Just so much to think about.
Focusing on the here and now has been my goal for the summer, and will continue to be so. Like I have said before I have come to love it so much here and the people here, and just everything really, that I don’t want to miss a single thing. I owe a lot to the community here that has helped me stay focused on what I am doing and just really keeps me laughing and on my toes. I could not have asked for a better intern/volunteer/staff family. So on Monday our fourth out of five and a one week teams get here, and we will start the finally leg of our amazing summer.
I have so much running through my head right now, none of which I should be worried about, but you know its just a lot to think about. A lot of it has to do with going home and what is going to be there for me when I get back, but also a lot has to do with this place. Thinking about coming back is one thing but will it actually happen? Will I ever see some of these kids again, I cant promise them that I will but it is a big hope of mine. Just things like these that keep running in and out of my head and ideas that I have like possibly leading a team down next year and what that would look like, and coming on staff with SI and what that would look like. Just so much to think about.
Focusing on the here and now has been my goal for the summer, and will continue to be so. Like I have said before I have come to love it so much here and the people here, and just everything really, that I don’t want to miss a single thing. I owe a lot to the community here that has helped me stay focused on what I am doing and just really keeps me laughing and on my toes. I could not have asked for a better intern/volunteer/staff family. So on Monday our fourth out of five and a one week teams get here, and we will start the finally leg of our amazing summer.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Why This Fear?
I cant believe that summer has started already. The last two weeks I have been wondering where the first part of the year went, and then I look back at all my journals and blogs and realize, oh yeah that’s what I did and what I was feeling and where God has been leading me. It really has been a journey that I will never forget and one that will have changed who I am for a life time.
Our first summer group was really awesome! I had four occupational therapy students working with me and I have never seen so much progress in those kids in just two short weeks! They taught me so much about what OT really is and skills that I can use for the rest of the summer, I am so excited about that! These kids mean so much to me and seeing even just a little progress makes my day.
As a whole I think that I am doing really good right now. There are some things that I am struggling with and trying not to think about to much, like the fact that there are only nine more weeks left. Being here has become such a huge part of my life. it’s a place where I have fallen in love with the culture and people and thinking about leaving has my heart in this weird place. I want to enjoy the time that I have left here and not be thinking about this, and take in everyday and let God show me more of Him. Its also a very busy summer. There are very few days that we get off and that doesn’t really bother me, I like to keep busy, and doing the work that I am doing here is exactly what I am supposed to be doing right now and I enjoy it. Last night we had just a worship night around a campfire, and it is things like that where God continues to amaze me and surprise me with His love and grace and beauty.
I think what it really is, is that I am on this high-low right now, where God is so much present in my life and seeing the changes that He is making in me, but there is this thing in the back of my mind that might be fear. Kind of a fear of the unknown, of what is going to happen in August, when I go home, fear of going home, of not giving it my all these next couple of months. I know that this has been there since the beginning but it is just coming out in full force for some reason these past few weeks. I know that God has it all under control and there is no need for me to fear about what is going to happen. It will happen and it will be Gods plan. What is really funny is that each of us interns have been assigned a word to do a little three minute message on, and mine is "fear". I really did want to study this, maybe mostly in the beginning so that I don’t mess it up when I actually have to give this message, but there were some passages that really convicted me. I really have to check myself and completely trust God. All in all it is a trust issue.
I know that it is going to be a great summer. I mean how can it not be with all the wonderful people God has put in my life right now. Yep that would be you interns and volunteers, Vicki and Josh, and many more! So I am going into this next week with a new attitude I have decided. I mean there will always be the fact that I am going home in August but I don’t want to miss something here that God is trying to teach me because I am fearful of the future and everything else. Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears."
Our first summer group was really awesome! I had four occupational therapy students working with me and I have never seen so much progress in those kids in just two short weeks! They taught me so much about what OT really is and skills that I can use for the rest of the summer, I am so excited about that! These kids mean so much to me and seeing even just a little progress makes my day.
As a whole I think that I am doing really good right now. There are some things that I am struggling with and trying not to think about to much, like the fact that there are only nine more weeks left. Being here has become such a huge part of my life. it’s a place where I have fallen in love with the culture and people and thinking about leaving has my heart in this weird place. I want to enjoy the time that I have left here and not be thinking about this, and take in everyday and let God show me more of Him. Its also a very busy summer. There are very few days that we get off and that doesn’t really bother me, I like to keep busy, and doing the work that I am doing here is exactly what I am supposed to be doing right now and I enjoy it. Last night we had just a worship night around a campfire, and it is things like that where God continues to amaze me and surprise me with His love and grace and beauty.
I think what it really is, is that I am on this high-low right now, where God is so much present in my life and seeing the changes that He is making in me, but there is this thing in the back of my mind that might be fear. Kind of a fear of the unknown, of what is going to happen in August, when I go home, fear of going home, of not giving it my all these next couple of months. I know that this has been there since the beginning but it is just coming out in full force for some reason these past few weeks. I know that God has it all under control and there is no need for me to fear about what is going to happen. It will happen and it will be Gods plan. What is really funny is that each of us interns have been assigned a word to do a little three minute message on, and mine is "fear". I really did want to study this, maybe mostly in the beginning so that I don’t mess it up when I actually have to give this message, but there were some passages that really convicted me. I really have to check myself and completely trust God. All in all it is a trust issue.
I know that it is going to be a great summer. I mean how can it not be with all the wonderful people God has put in my life right now. Yep that would be you interns and volunteers, Vicki and Josh, and many more! So I am going into this next week with a new attitude I have decided. I mean there will always be the fact that I am going home in August but I don’t want to miss something here that God is trying to teach me because I am fearful of the future and everything else. Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears."
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Here We Go!!!!
What a week and a half it has been. I want to document this week and all that went on because it was such a huge week. I am reminded of a quote from the oldest man that goes a little something like this, "Embrace change even when it slaps you in the face."
That being said, it was such a high coming off the retreat weekend that I really wasn't thinking about all the changes that were going to happen in the week to come. I knew it was all coming and I thought that I was ready for it all but wow what a change. Monday night Jeff moved out of the "intern house", and with his suitcase all packed up and rolled out to the living area it looked like he was leaving forever. I know, that is really dramatic, but it was a change that I didn’t see happening until it was happening. The next three nights were good for me, all be it different, but it really gave me a chance to pray and think over all that I had gained from over the weekend and helped confirm some things that I had been thinking about. God has a crazy way of working those things out. There are also some new ideas running around in my head that could be a good, we will see. More to come on that.
Thursday the other interns arrived! I was so happy to see B, apparently I could not stop smiling. We have all been having so much fun, I can really tell that we are going to be getting along really well! I am rooming with Ariana and Meghan, in the other room there is B and Rachael and Erin, and Kelly. For the guys there are Jessie and Chris and Myles who is a volunteer with Jeff and Angie! It is defiantly going to be a summer to remember. We have already had to many laughs to count, including game night with nothing else but telephone charades.
We have also had our first summer team here. Our group at Genesis is amazing. I get the chance to work with some occupational therapists and they are teaching me so much about it and I can see that we can defiantly make some progress with these amazing kids this summer. I am totally pumped for it! I know I have said this before but I have fallen in love with the school and the kids and cant imagine doing anything else right now. God has put me here for a purpose and I fell like I am finally getting it.
Along with all of these amazing things going on and amazing people that are here, I have been struggling a little with it. I stated off with a quote about embracing change, but I really do a horrible job at that. I miss the quiet but at the same time I am really excited that everyone is here. There also seems like so much more to do which there really isn’t just teams from here on out. Its like a battle going on in my head and heart that has got me all confused. Through it all though God has just been showing me more about myself and its been good. There are always ups and downs and sideways and all around but God will be there for it all.
Moving forward... Here we go!!! This summer is going to be the best one of our lives.
That being said, it was such a high coming off the retreat weekend that I really wasn't thinking about all the changes that were going to happen in the week to come. I knew it was all coming and I thought that I was ready for it all but wow what a change. Monday night Jeff moved out of the "intern house", and with his suitcase all packed up and rolled out to the living area it looked like he was leaving forever. I know, that is really dramatic, but it was a change that I didn’t see happening until it was happening. The next three nights were good for me, all be it different, but it really gave me a chance to pray and think over all that I had gained from over the weekend and helped confirm some things that I had been thinking about. God has a crazy way of working those things out. There are also some new ideas running around in my head that could be a good, we will see. More to come on that.
Thursday the other interns arrived! I was so happy to see B, apparently I could not stop smiling. We have all been having so much fun, I can really tell that we are going to be getting along really well! I am rooming with Ariana and Meghan, in the other room there is B and Rachael and Erin, and Kelly. For the guys there are Jessie and Chris and Myles who is a volunteer with Jeff and Angie! It is defiantly going to be a summer to remember. We have already had to many laughs to count, including game night with nothing else but telephone charades.
We have also had our first summer team here. Our group at Genesis is amazing. I get the chance to work with some occupational therapists and they are teaching me so much about it and I can see that we can defiantly make some progress with these amazing kids this summer. I am totally pumped for it! I know I have said this before but I have fallen in love with the school and the kids and cant imagine doing anything else right now. God has put me here for a purpose and I fell like I am finally getting it.
Along with all of these amazing things going on and amazing people that are here, I have been struggling a little with it. I stated off with a quote about embracing change, but I really do a horrible job at that. I miss the quiet but at the same time I am really excited that everyone is here. There also seems like so much more to do which there really isn’t just teams from here on out. Its like a battle going on in my head and heart that has got me all confused. Through it all though God has just been showing me more about myself and its been good. There are always ups and downs and sideways and all around but God will be there for it all.
Moving forward... Here we go!!! This summer is going to be the best one of our lives.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
My Mission
This weekend we are (were) on a staff retreat. To tell you the truth I was not entirely looking forward to it, because I was basing my opinions solely on what was being said about the place itself and not about what we were going to be doing there, for some reason. Ummm, so I was wrong. I am going to try to tie all of this together so bear with me if it seems like I am going off in another direction than what I previously started with. I have been reading in a book that I want to reflect on and of course share a little about what this weekend was like for me as well.
The book that I am reading through right now is called “The Organic God” by Margaret Feinberg. I must confess that I have had this book sitting on a shelf at home for the past five years, and I brought it here thinking that I might have time to read some books maybe even this one. I cant help but think that it was not by accident. Even thought it has a really simple and “I have heard that before” theme it so far has been just what I needed to hear. Its all about falling in love with God again and strengthening your relationship with Him in an “organic“ way.
A couple chapters into the book I found myself really taking a look at myself, and realizing that this past month I have felt a little lost and unsure sometimes. And then this verse, Isaiah 43:1-3 “But now, this is what the Lord says, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” I underlined three words in this because they are the three words that speak out the loudest to me and mean so much. Through everything that I might be going through, He is still always there, He is still God, He is still Father, Abba, it’s a promise, “you are mine”. This is such a comfort for me to think about and to know that I am His. I cant leave out also that this reminded me of a song that B, a very good friend of mine, and I wrote this past summer. No kidding the song is called “You Are Mine”. The chores goes a little like this if I can remember it all correctly, “I’m here waiting, your done breaking, I’m shining out my light. And I will never, leave you to wonder, bended knee come to me, you are mine.” It has a whole new meaning to me. When we were sitting in the park writing this it was just cool and we were having fun with it, but now I can see the true meaning behind it and, wow. He whispers just three words and an overwhelming peace comes over me.
I would defiantly say that coming here to the Dominican Republic has changed me, in more ways than I probably know right now. Yes, I have been forced out of my box in a sense, and have had to give some things up that really in all reality we could all do without, and have been able to focus on God and me. My relationship with Him. And by doing that have been able to see, so much clearer than before, His teachings, and what He has for me. I am learning so much about who God is and with Him learning so much about myself. I know that without Him everything that I am doing here would not be. I know that I have a purpose here and I came here to follow Him in that.
Our speaker this weekend pastor Don had this to say Friday night. “Jesus didn’t die to keep you safe, Jesus died to make you dangerous!” This might seem strange, not going to lie, with his heavy southern accent, I thought, this guy, ummmm ok. But there is a point behind it, and might be one that you have heard before but not quite in this way. So that box that I have been forced out of…well that is just one box, I find that there are many we can put ourselves in. So I have also put myself in a “missionary box” and have classified myself, if even being short term, as such. That might be what I am doing right now, this is what God has called me to do right now, but I am still Christine… I am, in the words from above, “His” called to do one thing, follow Him. Matthew 19:16-30 tells of the story of the rich young man, and when he asked “What do I still lack?” Jesus gave the answer “Sell everything and follow me”. Sound easy enough, yes? I think that even more so now than then it is difficult to say the least. I can say that I defiantly try, but find myself falling at every corner, getting lost, unfocused. I lose some of my dangerousness that is, living for God in a way that makes us “dangerous“, exciting, different! Living a life focused on one thing, and that is to bring people to the kingdom.
I think for me this past month I was lacking motivation and forgetting the reason why I had come here. I mean not completely but I was just in one of these places where I don’t know where to go next and it was getting me down. This weekend I just felt God so much, His Spirit just filling me again in a way that I have not had in a while. The worship was fantastic, the messages right on, and the community great. None of these things by themselves had anything to do with it but together and what God did through them just lifted my soul up. I feel so motivated, refreshed, reconnected, refocused and ready to be a leader this summer. Its My Mission.
I want to ask this question, and I may be taking it out of the book that I am reading, but I really like it and her answer was really close to what mine was. So the question is “What do you love about Jesus?” Take a minute think about it.
For me its God’s beauty. And it goes much deeper than this world that He has created for us. I do love to look at beautiful sunset on the beach and it more often than not makes me thank God for all the beauty that He has given us, but its deeper. Its His Love for us, His healing for us, its all of Him. He is the beauty we find when we get to know Him better. By getting to know the creator we get to see the beauty of this world that He has created for us. Its awesome! Its like seeing things in a whole new way. I love this quote form the book, “He reveals what is ultimately beautiful in a way we could never imagine, and in the process we reflect a little more beauty ourselves, thus drawing others to him.” I don’t know about you but this is what I want to reflect! This mission that I am on, this is what its all about. This is what God had in store for me all along.
The book that I am reading through right now is called “The Organic God” by Margaret Feinberg. I must confess that I have had this book sitting on a shelf at home for the past five years, and I brought it here thinking that I might have time to read some books maybe even this one. I cant help but think that it was not by accident. Even thought it has a really simple and “I have heard that before” theme it so far has been just what I needed to hear. Its all about falling in love with God again and strengthening your relationship with Him in an “organic“ way.
A couple chapters into the book I found myself really taking a look at myself, and realizing that this past month I have felt a little lost and unsure sometimes. And then this verse, Isaiah 43:1-3 “But now, this is what the Lord says, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” I underlined three words in this because they are the three words that speak out the loudest to me and mean so much. Through everything that I might be going through, He is still always there, He is still God, He is still Father, Abba, it’s a promise, “you are mine”. This is such a comfort for me to think about and to know that I am His. I cant leave out also that this reminded me of a song that B, a very good friend of mine, and I wrote this past summer. No kidding the song is called “You Are Mine”. The chores goes a little like this if I can remember it all correctly, “I’m here waiting, your done breaking, I’m shining out my light. And I will never, leave you to wonder, bended knee come to me, you are mine.” It has a whole new meaning to me. When we were sitting in the park writing this it was just cool and we were having fun with it, but now I can see the true meaning behind it and, wow. He whispers just three words and an overwhelming peace comes over me.
I would defiantly say that coming here to the Dominican Republic has changed me, in more ways than I probably know right now. Yes, I have been forced out of my box in a sense, and have had to give some things up that really in all reality we could all do without, and have been able to focus on God and me. My relationship with Him. And by doing that have been able to see, so much clearer than before, His teachings, and what He has for me. I am learning so much about who God is and with Him learning so much about myself. I know that without Him everything that I am doing here would not be. I know that I have a purpose here and I came here to follow Him in that.
Our speaker this weekend pastor Don had this to say Friday night. “Jesus didn’t die to keep you safe, Jesus died to make you dangerous!” This might seem strange, not going to lie, with his heavy southern accent, I thought, this guy, ummmm ok. But there is a point behind it, and might be one that you have heard before but not quite in this way. So that box that I have been forced out of…well that is just one box, I find that there are many we can put ourselves in. So I have also put myself in a “missionary box” and have classified myself, if even being short term, as such. That might be what I am doing right now, this is what God has called me to do right now, but I am still Christine… I am, in the words from above, “His” called to do one thing, follow Him. Matthew 19:16-30 tells of the story of the rich young man, and when he asked “What do I still lack?” Jesus gave the answer “Sell everything and follow me”. Sound easy enough, yes? I think that even more so now than then it is difficult to say the least. I can say that I defiantly try, but find myself falling at every corner, getting lost, unfocused. I lose some of my dangerousness that is, living for God in a way that makes us “dangerous“, exciting, different! Living a life focused on one thing, and that is to bring people to the kingdom.
I think for me this past month I was lacking motivation and forgetting the reason why I had come here. I mean not completely but I was just in one of these places where I don’t know where to go next and it was getting me down. This weekend I just felt God so much, His Spirit just filling me again in a way that I have not had in a while. The worship was fantastic, the messages right on, and the community great. None of these things by themselves had anything to do with it but together and what God did through them just lifted my soul up. I feel so motivated, refreshed, reconnected, refocused and ready to be a leader this summer. Its My Mission.
I want to ask this question, and I may be taking it out of the book that I am reading, but I really like it and her answer was really close to what mine was. So the question is “What do you love about Jesus?” Take a minute think about it.
For me its God’s beauty. And it goes much deeper than this world that He has created for us. I do love to look at beautiful sunset on the beach and it more often than not makes me thank God for all the beauty that He has given us, but its deeper. Its His Love for us, His healing for us, its all of Him. He is the beauty we find when we get to know Him better. By getting to know the creator we get to see the beauty of this world that He has created for us. Its awesome! Its like seeing things in a whole new way. I love this quote form the book, “He reveals what is ultimately beautiful in a way we could never imagine, and in the process we reflect a little more beauty ourselves, thus drawing others to him.” I don’t know about you but this is what I want to reflect! This mission that I am on, this is what its all about. This is what God had in store for me all along.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Change...
The past couple of weeks have been a little different for me. Genesis is on a trimester system and so we have been out of school now for two and a half weeks, and have a week and a half left. The first week we had a team, and since none of the preschools were open we held VBS in each of them one day that week. The second week started out with a nice relaxing trip to a beach resort, which was fabulous! I have also spent a couple of days up in Los Higos helping Heidy with the woman’s social work site.
I say that the past few weeks have been different in what I have been doing for sure, but also in the way that God has been challenging me and reveling Himself to me. I have become comfortable working at Genesis. Not to say that this is a bad thing because I wouldn't, but I know my job there and I have gotten to know the kids really well and have fallen in love with them. I was in a routine, and when that routine broke, I found myself taking a look at everything that was around me and finding that I had been missing something.
During our week of VBS, God showed me something of what He wants me to be doing. I have never thought of ever being a teacher, but this week I found myself really liking the idea. Ok so I cant say I have never thought of being a teacher, I could never see myself doing it in the states and because of that I never thought about preschool... And while I was working with all of these other cute little kids I was really thinking that I really missed the kids at Genesis. Being at Genesis the past few months has really been an eye opening experience for me but God knew that I would need to get out of the routine for a while and discover possibly what He has in store for me through my experience there. So I have had sort of a revelation you could say. Thoughts of possibly teaching special needs children and or preschool age kids.
I feel like this direction that God is setting me on finally makes sense. I have been reading through the New Testament, specifically Paul’s letters and really taking from it what it means to be a true disciple and follower. There is such encouragement in Paul’s letters and I find myself seeking it out all the time. As has been the norm for these past few months there has been a million things on my mind. Some of them I have found that God has given me peace about and others still I am seeking guidance. I have given it all over to Him, and know that in the right time He will guide me in His direction, as He has done so far.
A verse comes to mind, Isaiah 41:9-10 "I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant,' I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you with my righteous hand." I am called to follow Christ to the ends of the earth. I don’t need to fear anything because He will be there for me always. God's plan is so much bigger than mine. I have been finding myself slowly letting go and holding tight to what God has promised me.
So change… not really one of my most preferred aspects to life but one that I am beginning to become more comfortable with the more that I seek Christ in all that I do, and fully commit to be the chosen daughter that He has meant for me to be all along.
I say that the past few weeks have been different in what I have been doing for sure, but also in the way that God has been challenging me and reveling Himself to me. I have become comfortable working at Genesis. Not to say that this is a bad thing because I wouldn't, but I know my job there and I have gotten to know the kids really well and have fallen in love with them. I was in a routine, and when that routine broke, I found myself taking a look at everything that was around me and finding that I had been missing something.
During our week of VBS, God showed me something of what He wants me to be doing. I have never thought of ever being a teacher, but this week I found myself really liking the idea. Ok so I cant say I have never thought of being a teacher, I could never see myself doing it in the states and because of that I never thought about preschool... And while I was working with all of these other cute little kids I was really thinking that I really missed the kids at Genesis. Being at Genesis the past few months has really been an eye opening experience for me but God knew that I would need to get out of the routine for a while and discover possibly what He has in store for me through my experience there. So I have had sort of a revelation you could say. Thoughts of possibly teaching special needs children and or preschool age kids.
I feel like this direction that God is setting me on finally makes sense. I have been reading through the New Testament, specifically Paul’s letters and really taking from it what it means to be a true disciple and follower. There is such encouragement in Paul’s letters and I find myself seeking it out all the time. As has been the norm for these past few months there has been a million things on my mind. Some of them I have found that God has given me peace about and others still I am seeking guidance. I have given it all over to Him, and know that in the right time He will guide me in His direction, as He has done so far.
A verse comes to mind, Isaiah 41:9-10 "I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant,' I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you with my righteous hand." I am called to follow Christ to the ends of the earth. I don’t need to fear anything because He will be there for me always. God's plan is so much bigger than mine. I have been finding myself slowly letting go and holding tight to what God has promised me.
So change… not really one of my most preferred aspects to life but one that I am beginning to become more comfortable with the more that I seek Christ in all that I do, and fully commit to be the chosen daughter that He has meant for me to be all along.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Asking Questions
It has been a pretty laid back kind of week here in the DR. We had no team, so we didn’t have any nightly activities which is nice, but when teams are here it is cool to hang out with them and get to know their stories as well. It was also the last week before the schools 4 week break. Which will be different because now we also have that 4 week break. I am excited for it but at the same time I am going to miss seeing those kids' faces everyday!
This got me thinking that what if this was it? What if this was the last time I would see these kids? What if I was going home right now? It seemed so much like that on Friday when we were waiving good bye to the guagua (the bus). I wanted to get every last wave in that I could as it drove away from the school. But then I knew in the back of my mind that I will see them all again in just a few weeks, it's not forever. But what about in August it could be forever then, am I ready for that? Absolutely not. Do I want to be ready for that? Absolutely not. In all reality it will be here far faster than I want it to, and this was a good reality cheek.
As we are nearing kind of our half way mark here I have been asking myself questions and people have been asking questions of me as well. To most of them the answer is, "I don’t know", or "maybe", two of my least favorite words or phrases to have to answer with but seem to be the norm for me these days. Which is not entirely a bad thing just me dealing with patience issues. This is something that I am working on. I would consider myself a pretty patient person, but when it comes to time or getting things done I guess I am not so much.
So a major question is "Do you think you could come back here?", and the answer to that is always yes I could see my self coming back here, I LOVE it here, but that is me. God could totally have different plans and that’s okay with me. I have come to trust Him with what He has in store for me in the next years and where ever that may lead. If it is coming back sooner than I thought or a few years down the road or not at all, its all in His hands.
"What is it that you have learned so far being here in the DR?" Another great question that has way to long of an answer, which is also good. I think that for me the biggest thing that I have learned is to listen. Just listen to what He is trying to tell me. To be able to listen comes out a lot of things as well, being in the Word a lot more than I ever was, trusting, being silent, (there is a blog on that one). I don’t know I am just a way different person than I was when I left to come here in January. I like who I have become, to the person God has transformed me to become. Its more of an inside transformation that shines thought to the outside. I mean my personality hasn’t changed... I don’t think... I just look at life a whole lot different, and take things as they come, one day at a time.
"When you go back home what is it that you plan on doing?" Well if it were up to me, which it is not, and depending on when this question was asked, depends on the answer. A few months ago I would have said go back to school, find a great job, move out with my friends by the end of the year, just live life. If you were to ask me that question now I would start it off like I did this paragraph where as before I would have just jumped right in. If it were up to me which its not I might still answer with those things above but that’s not what’s important anymore. Sure I should probably go back to school but I don’t see that happening right away after much prayer and guidance on the subject, and if I find a job great, but God will provide. The just live life part is what will stay the same but with a different out look than it would have been in say January. I want to live the life that God has for me and not make half thought through quick decisions like I have done in the past. God has my life under control, and worrying about stuff defiantly doesn’t get me anywhere.
"Do you miss home at all?" Yeah ok I miss home, but really its not as much as I thought I would, I have even started referring to here as home. My mom asked me this question one night while we were skyping and I answered "no just the people" and she said that counted. So yeah I miss family and friends, and our crazy fun times that we had this past year, but technology makes being away from them like I really am not away at all. I can still talk to them whenever I need or want too and vise versa. My family and friends are great and I defiantly don’t know what I would do without them. So I thank you all for your support and I love you guys!!!
"What do you miss most about home?" This one coincides with the pervious, I miss people and hanging out with them. Then comes things that are just things like milk, stopping at Starbucks anytime that I want to. Although I drink so much more coffee here than I ever did at home. I miss just going to Target and getting whatever I needed or didn’t. Eating out at restaurants. You know all the things that are so readily at your fingertips and take for granted. I miss watching TV kind of or just having it on in the back ground or falling asleep to it. But really all these thing I can do without. I have done without for the last 3 months and it has made me think that maybe where I am home I wont need to have all of these things. I mean they will be there for sure and that will be nice but I don’t need them like I once thought that I did, there are so many more important things in life. It makes you think, yeah?
There are probably a lot more, but these are the top and the ones that I think about all the time. I cant believe that we have past three months of being here. Someday it really does seem like we just got here yesterday, but as I look back at all that we have been able to do here, that first week seems like ages ago. Oh the stories I will have when it comes time to leave this place! Time flies when you are having fun, and I am having the time of my life here. God is so good!
This got me thinking that what if this was it? What if this was the last time I would see these kids? What if I was going home right now? It seemed so much like that on Friday when we were waiving good bye to the guagua (the bus). I wanted to get every last wave in that I could as it drove away from the school. But then I knew in the back of my mind that I will see them all again in just a few weeks, it's not forever. But what about in August it could be forever then, am I ready for that? Absolutely not. Do I want to be ready for that? Absolutely not. In all reality it will be here far faster than I want it to, and this was a good reality cheek.
As we are nearing kind of our half way mark here I have been asking myself questions and people have been asking questions of me as well. To most of them the answer is, "I don’t know", or "maybe", two of my least favorite words or phrases to have to answer with but seem to be the norm for me these days. Which is not entirely a bad thing just me dealing with patience issues. This is something that I am working on. I would consider myself a pretty patient person, but when it comes to time or getting things done I guess I am not so much.
So a major question is "Do you think you could come back here?", and the answer to that is always yes I could see my self coming back here, I LOVE it here, but that is me. God could totally have different plans and that’s okay with me. I have come to trust Him with what He has in store for me in the next years and where ever that may lead. If it is coming back sooner than I thought or a few years down the road or not at all, its all in His hands.
"What is it that you have learned so far being here in the DR?" Another great question that has way to long of an answer, which is also good. I think that for me the biggest thing that I have learned is to listen. Just listen to what He is trying to tell me. To be able to listen comes out a lot of things as well, being in the Word a lot more than I ever was, trusting, being silent, (there is a blog on that one). I don’t know I am just a way different person than I was when I left to come here in January. I like who I have become, to the person God has transformed me to become. Its more of an inside transformation that shines thought to the outside. I mean my personality hasn’t changed... I don’t think... I just look at life a whole lot different, and take things as they come, one day at a time.
"When you go back home what is it that you plan on doing?" Well if it were up to me, which it is not, and depending on when this question was asked, depends on the answer. A few months ago I would have said go back to school, find a great job, move out with my friends by the end of the year, just live life. If you were to ask me that question now I would start it off like I did this paragraph where as before I would have just jumped right in. If it were up to me which its not I might still answer with those things above but that’s not what’s important anymore. Sure I should probably go back to school but I don’t see that happening right away after much prayer and guidance on the subject, and if I find a job great, but God will provide. The just live life part is what will stay the same but with a different out look than it would have been in say January. I want to live the life that God has for me and not make half thought through quick decisions like I have done in the past. God has my life under control, and worrying about stuff defiantly doesn’t get me anywhere.
"Do you miss home at all?" Yeah ok I miss home, but really its not as much as I thought I would, I have even started referring to here as home. My mom asked me this question one night while we were skyping and I answered "no just the people" and she said that counted. So yeah I miss family and friends, and our crazy fun times that we had this past year, but technology makes being away from them like I really am not away at all. I can still talk to them whenever I need or want too and vise versa. My family and friends are great and I defiantly don’t know what I would do without them. So I thank you all for your support and I love you guys!!!
"What do you miss most about home?" This one coincides with the pervious, I miss people and hanging out with them. Then comes things that are just things like milk, stopping at Starbucks anytime that I want to. Although I drink so much more coffee here than I ever did at home. I miss just going to Target and getting whatever I needed or didn’t. Eating out at restaurants. You know all the things that are so readily at your fingertips and take for granted. I miss watching TV kind of or just having it on in the back ground or falling asleep to it. But really all these thing I can do without. I have done without for the last 3 months and it has made me think that maybe where I am home I wont need to have all of these things. I mean they will be there for sure and that will be nice but I don’t need them like I once thought that I did, there are so many more important things in life. It makes you think, yeah?
There are probably a lot more, but these are the top and the ones that I think about all the time. I cant believe that we have past three months of being here. Someday it really does seem like we just got here yesterday, but as I look back at all that we have been able to do here, that first week seems like ages ago. Oh the stories I will have when it comes time to leave this place! Time flies when you are having fun, and I am having the time of my life here. God is so good!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Huh, what? Me?
This past week or since I last bloged, God has thrown some things into my life and shown me some things about myself that are crazy and yet good!
I am realizing now more than ever that, yes I did come here to the DR to serve God and the people here and that yeah maybe while I was here God would show me a little more of who He is and who I am. And yes in the back of my mind I knew that it could be that I would get a lot more out of this experience than I would be able to give, but that wasn’t my main propose for coming here. I heard a call and I followed. Isn’t this what we are all supposed to do? Whether it is to go to a foreign country or somewhere in your own back yard we are called to follow Him and His plan for our lives.
Maybe because I thought that coming here it would be easier to listen and follow and to just walk with Him, but in all honesty it seems harder. I don’t want to seem all holier than thou because I defiantly am not, but being here and completely surrendered to what He wants me to do for His Kingdom it seems harder to listen and to follow and know where He wants me to go next. It is this constant struggle of what I am supposed to do next and where I can see myself and where He sees me.
I have been asked, if it all works out for this couple, to come back in January and tutor their two handicapped children. Huh, what? Me? My first thought and question was what qualifies me to take on that responsibility? The next thought that went through my head in that second was, for sure, I would love to!!, then taking a step back and saying to myself wow that’s like five months after I get home, and then being like well maybe this is why God placed me at Genesis, and I wonder if this is what He has been preparing me for... You can imagine all the things that were going through my head in that second that they asked me to consider and pray with them about all of this. It is a huge commitment and one that yea I can see where that could be an amazing opportunity but is it where God wants me for the next few years? Yeah years. And so I had to take a step back and although I told them that I would be praying that God would lead me to the right decision, it has been surreal to think that this is a possibility for me. For the past week and a half I have been praying about it and talking to some people here and some of you back home and have had a lot of feedback on it. Do I know for sure what is going to happen, absolutely not. Do I still think it is as exiting as when they first mentioned it, yea a little. So I am continuing to pray and ask for guidance because jumping in and saying yes or no is not what I want to do and ultimately not what God wants me to do either. So I ask for you all to pray with me on this and that God would show me the way in this situation.
So along with this amazement of being here in the DR to the place where I know that God called me to be back in August, to the here and now, and what could potentially be a future here, I would defiantly say that it is harder. Back home it was so easy to fill my life with worldly things and take on way to much responsibilities and get caught up in that kind of life, not have enough quiet to really listen to what He was saying to me. I see that now, it didn’t really even cross my mind then that I was doing way to much, but I see that now. And maybe that’s all that He was looking for when He asked this of me. There is so much more to life than just living and following the motions, and yeah I am sure that there will be a time in my life again that I will find myself lost in it all but that I know how to come back and listen, really listen to what God is saying to me. We all have a purpose and I might have found mine for right now but He is always calling us to do His work, we just have to listen to where exactly that is. So I defiantly don’t have it all figured out, and out of all the little voices, mostly my own, that are shouting things to me of places and dreams, there is only One that I have to and need to listen to. It is a constant battle with me but I am seeking His word and sitting in silence with Him, and I know when the time is right He will give me the answers that I seek Him for.
I am realizing now more than ever that, yes I did come here to the DR to serve God and the people here and that yeah maybe while I was here God would show me a little more of who He is and who I am. And yes in the back of my mind I knew that it could be that I would get a lot more out of this experience than I would be able to give, but that wasn’t my main propose for coming here. I heard a call and I followed. Isn’t this what we are all supposed to do? Whether it is to go to a foreign country or somewhere in your own back yard we are called to follow Him and His plan for our lives.
Maybe because I thought that coming here it would be easier to listen and follow and to just walk with Him, but in all honesty it seems harder. I don’t want to seem all holier than thou because I defiantly am not, but being here and completely surrendered to what He wants me to do for His Kingdom it seems harder to listen and to follow and know where He wants me to go next. It is this constant struggle of what I am supposed to do next and where I can see myself and where He sees me.
I have been asked, if it all works out for this couple, to come back in January and tutor their two handicapped children. Huh, what? Me? My first thought and question was what qualifies me to take on that responsibility? The next thought that went through my head in that second was, for sure, I would love to!!, then taking a step back and saying to myself wow that’s like five months after I get home, and then being like well maybe this is why God placed me at Genesis, and I wonder if this is what He has been preparing me for... You can imagine all the things that were going through my head in that second that they asked me to consider and pray with them about all of this. It is a huge commitment and one that yea I can see where that could be an amazing opportunity but is it where God wants me for the next few years? Yeah years. And so I had to take a step back and although I told them that I would be praying that God would lead me to the right decision, it has been surreal to think that this is a possibility for me. For the past week and a half I have been praying about it and talking to some people here and some of you back home and have had a lot of feedback on it. Do I know for sure what is going to happen, absolutely not. Do I still think it is as exiting as when they first mentioned it, yea a little. So I am continuing to pray and ask for guidance because jumping in and saying yes or no is not what I want to do and ultimately not what God wants me to do either. So I ask for you all to pray with me on this and that God would show me the way in this situation.
So along with this amazement of being here in the DR to the place where I know that God called me to be back in August, to the here and now, and what could potentially be a future here, I would defiantly say that it is harder. Back home it was so easy to fill my life with worldly things and take on way to much responsibilities and get caught up in that kind of life, not have enough quiet to really listen to what He was saying to me. I see that now, it didn’t really even cross my mind then that I was doing way to much, but I see that now. And maybe that’s all that He was looking for when He asked this of me. There is so much more to life than just living and following the motions, and yeah I am sure that there will be a time in my life again that I will find myself lost in it all but that I know how to come back and listen, really listen to what God is saying to me. We all have a purpose and I might have found mine for right now but He is always calling us to do His work, we just have to listen to where exactly that is. So I defiantly don’t have it all figured out, and out of all the little voices, mostly my own, that are shouting things to me of places and dreams, there is only One that I have to and need to listen to. It is a constant battle with me but I am seeking His word and sitting in silence with Him, and I know when the time is right He will give me the answers that I seek Him for.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Sitting in Amazement
So I have been praying and thinking a lot... a lot about life and where I see God leading me in the next few years possibly and its kind of scary not going to lie, because where I am seeing Him leading me at this moment, I know it is a really, really big possibility! When I came down here in January I thought that this would be a good place for me to find more of myself, the person, the woman that God wants me to be, and in that finding a deeper relationship with Christ. I wanted to take all that God shows me here back home and apply that to school and work and all of these things that I thought I was going to do when I have to go home in August...
I am a huge day dreamer, something to know about me, so I sit and dream about what my life would look like a few years down the road, married, kids, maybe a great job, you know, "life". For a few months now maybe even before I left home God has been showing me that, yes, those are all possibilities for the life He has for me but what about this as well? And so all the plans that "I" had when coming here to reach the dreams that "I" have all seem to be less important. Since coming here like, almost instantaneously it seems God has put on my heart new dreams and plans for my life and I cant help but "day dream" about what life could be like living here in the DR, or another mission field. Although its not really a dream right now with me living here, it sometimes seems like it. I sit on the couch, like I am doing right now, and look out the front door and think to myself, umm yea I am in a different country right now, crazy! It has defiantly been an eye opening experience so far! God has shown me what life could be like here and the work that I am doing, never would have thought that, and I LOVE it! It has only been a few months, we still have a ways to go!
Going home in August is going to look a lot different than what I thought it would in the beginning. And that’s ok I am good with that because I know that for now that is what God wants me to do. Not that I am already thinking about going home because I defiantly don’t want to think about that, but small steps in the direction of my life are being taken and they are all taken from the moments that He is giving me here and looking at what the future might hold.
So I guess I am just sitting here in amazement at all that He is doing and will continue to do in my life. Yea amazement is the word for my life right now! I will continue to soak it all in and soak Him and what He has yet to show me in too! And as I say this it starts raining! Yep! Gods will is so much bigger than mine, I guess I always knew that but never really saw it and its not just the big things its in all the little things as well!
I am a huge day dreamer, something to know about me, so I sit and dream about what my life would look like a few years down the road, married, kids, maybe a great job, you know, "life". For a few months now maybe even before I left home God has been showing me that, yes, those are all possibilities for the life He has for me but what about this as well? And so all the plans that "I" had when coming here to reach the dreams that "I" have all seem to be less important. Since coming here like, almost instantaneously it seems God has put on my heart new dreams and plans for my life and I cant help but "day dream" about what life could be like living here in the DR, or another mission field. Although its not really a dream right now with me living here, it sometimes seems like it. I sit on the couch, like I am doing right now, and look out the front door and think to myself, umm yea I am in a different country right now, crazy! It has defiantly been an eye opening experience so far! God has shown me what life could be like here and the work that I am doing, never would have thought that, and I LOVE it! It has only been a few months, we still have a ways to go!
Going home in August is going to look a lot different than what I thought it would in the beginning. And that’s ok I am good with that because I know that for now that is what God wants me to do. Not that I am already thinking about going home because I defiantly don’t want to think about that, but small steps in the direction of my life are being taken and they are all taken from the moments that He is giving me here and looking at what the future might hold.
So I guess I am just sitting here in amazement at all that He is doing and will continue to do in my life. Yea amazement is the word for my life right now! I will continue to soak it all in and soak Him and what He has yet to show me in too! And as I say this it starts raining! Yep! Gods will is so much bigger than mine, I guess I always knew that but never really saw it and its not just the big things its in all the little things as well!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Lasting Memories!
This week for me kind of started out really slow. Coming off a weekend were I was really being pushed out of my comfort zone and being stretched by God in ways that I really didn’t know before, was new for me and it consumed a lot of my thoughts for the first couple of days of this outreach. I was able to talk to one of the girls from JMU this week while working in the therapy room, and really just share my heart for why I am here now and what could possibly be a future in missions and it was great to connect with her on that because I know she loves it here as well! Let me just say that this whole team was/is amazing!!! They all have such a heart to serve and it really shown through in the work that they all did.
Our group of girls (Hillary, Jenn, Allyssa, Kelsey and Julia, who was from the Jupiter High school group) that came to Genesis were so much fun, there was never a moment where we were not laughing and having fun together at the site unless you count having to watch them say goodbye to the kids at Genesis or watching them drive away in the vans at 2:30 this morning. I really am going to miss these guys but fell like I have made some great new friends in the process! They have inspired me I have a new outlook on being here and it is really exciting. Not that it wasn’t before but they just showed me something different this week, and I think it has to do with having fun and serving God with an open heart, and not to let anything get you down. This team reminded me so much of going through a TEC weekend! Sitting and singing songs, "Devotions" if you are familiar with TEC, and just the fellowship of a Christian community, I have really missed that a lot!
Going forward is a new adventure for me! And even thought every team will not be exactly like JMU, they will all have there own, something, to bring to the DR and the people here just like this team did! God is good and he has reasons for everything, I am defiantly learning to put all of my trust in Him and in the process learning a great deal about myself and the work He still has for me here!
Our group of girls (Hillary, Jenn, Allyssa, Kelsey and Julia, who was from the Jupiter High school group) that came to Genesis were so much fun, there was never a moment where we were not laughing and having fun together at the site unless you count having to watch them say goodbye to the kids at Genesis or watching them drive away in the vans at 2:30 this morning. I really am going to miss these guys but fell like I have made some great new friends in the process! They have inspired me I have a new outlook on being here and it is really exciting. Not that it wasn’t before but they just showed me something different this week, and I think it has to do with having fun and serving God with an open heart, and not to let anything get you down. This team reminded me so much of going through a TEC weekend! Sitting and singing songs, "Devotions" if you are familiar with TEC, and just the fellowship of a Christian community, I have really missed that a lot!
Going forward is a new adventure for me! And even thought every team will not be exactly like JMU, they will all have there own, something, to bring to the DR and the people here just like this team did! God is good and he has reasons for everything, I am defiantly learning to put all of my trust in Him and in the process learning a great deal about myself and the work He still has for me here!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Silence and Solitude...
So today has been an interesting day for me. Really up and down.... In the end though I learned something about myself that God defiantly wanted me to know. Josh asked us to pick a spiritual discipline and write a short summary about it and how we can use it in our lives. At first I thought that I would take the easy way out and pull out "An Invitation to a Journey" and use what it has in there about the disciplines of silence and solitude. Good idea right? I really should have known better because in the last few weeks I cant begin to tell you how much this subject has come up here. So apparently I was meant to get a lot more out of it than I originally thought.
As I sat down to write some notes about the subject this morning I could not concentrate. I had a lot of things on my mind and some issues that I needed to work out and as much as I really wanted to research this and get it done, I couldn’t. So I decided that I needed to get out of the house and find a quiet place to do it. So with "An Invitation to a Journey", my Bible, and a notebook off I went to the gazebo. When I got there I was completely overwhelmed with the view of Jarabacoa, (never having been to this spot since I got here), that all I could do was sit there and look out on in. All I needed to take really was my Bible…
I did this for and hour and a half, just sitting up there praying and thinking about my time here and all the stuff that I had on my mind, all the stuff that had been the original reason for getting out of the house. Again I should have known better. I really learned up there what silence and solitude is all about. I am not the type of person who likes to be by myself. I would much rather be in a room full of people just so that I have someone around me. Being silent on the other hand is not one of my many problems. Most people would say that I am a relatively quiet person. But together these two disciplines can have the effect that only God can bring upon. And I learned that today sitting up in that gazebo...
Well after all of that intenseness up there I really needed some girl talk and so I enlisted Beth to help me out with this and it was perfect. We were able to really talk, something that I really haven’t had since I got here and something that it turns out that we both really needed. God had been putting it on both of our hearts today which just shows how awesome He really is.
Silence and Solitude, although they can really mean a lot for a lot of different people I found mine today. And even though I still have a long way to making it truly my own I think that that is the whole purposes God intended for these disciplines. Lamentations 3:25-28 says "The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him." Sit alone in silence...
So in solitude, which I now understand better, we are being forced to let go and let God. I was reading in "An Invitation to a Journey" and found this about silence, "Silence is bringing ourselves to a point of relinquishing to God our control for our relationship with God. Silence is a reversal of the whole possessing, controlling, grasping dynamic of trying to maintain control for our own existence. Silence is the inner act of letting go." Reading this again today put a whole new aspect on the subject, and reminds me that I need to continue to let God be in control of my life. Because when I take control nothing ever goes right and it gets all bottled up inside to where I cant function anymore, which is exactly what happened today. Put together Silence and Solitude are really all about letting God take control of every aspect of your life and letting Him be there for us in our brokenness, and being a light in our darkness. For everyone it is different and we all have to find what it means for us to be silent before God and find solitude in Him.
So in a matter of speaking I did get my assignment done today but I learned so much more in the process. On another note, we have a new team here after being without one for a couple weeks. They seem really cool. There is a high school group here form Florida and coming latter tonight is a college group from James Madison University. Not going to lie I really do like it when there are no teams here only because I get a lot of down time to reflect and just be in Gods presents, but I think this is going to be good for me this week just to get back in the grove of things. So once again, here we go!
As I sat down to write some notes about the subject this morning I could not concentrate. I had a lot of things on my mind and some issues that I needed to work out and as much as I really wanted to research this and get it done, I couldn’t. So I decided that I needed to get out of the house and find a quiet place to do it. So with "An Invitation to a Journey", my Bible, and a notebook off I went to the gazebo. When I got there I was completely overwhelmed with the view of Jarabacoa, (never having been to this spot since I got here), that all I could do was sit there and look out on in. All I needed to take really was my Bible…
I did this for and hour and a half, just sitting up there praying and thinking about my time here and all the stuff that I had on my mind, all the stuff that had been the original reason for getting out of the house. Again I should have known better. I really learned up there what silence and solitude is all about. I am not the type of person who likes to be by myself. I would much rather be in a room full of people just so that I have someone around me. Being silent on the other hand is not one of my many problems. Most people would say that I am a relatively quiet person. But together these two disciplines can have the effect that only God can bring upon. And I learned that today sitting up in that gazebo...
Well after all of that intenseness up there I really needed some girl talk and so I enlisted Beth to help me out with this and it was perfect. We were able to really talk, something that I really haven’t had since I got here and something that it turns out that we both really needed. God had been putting it on both of our hearts today which just shows how awesome He really is.
Silence and Solitude, although they can really mean a lot for a lot of different people I found mine today. And even though I still have a long way to making it truly my own I think that that is the whole purposes God intended for these disciplines. Lamentations 3:25-28 says "The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him." Sit alone in silence...
So in solitude, which I now understand better, we are being forced to let go and let God. I was reading in "An Invitation to a Journey" and found this about silence, "Silence is bringing ourselves to a point of relinquishing to God our control for our relationship with God. Silence is a reversal of the whole possessing, controlling, grasping dynamic of trying to maintain control for our own existence. Silence is the inner act of letting go." Reading this again today put a whole new aspect on the subject, and reminds me that I need to continue to let God be in control of my life. Because when I take control nothing ever goes right and it gets all bottled up inside to where I cant function anymore, which is exactly what happened today. Put together Silence and Solitude are really all about letting God take control of every aspect of your life and letting Him be there for us in our brokenness, and being a light in our darkness. For everyone it is different and we all have to find what it means for us to be silent before God and find solitude in Him.
So in a matter of speaking I did get my assignment done today but I learned so much more in the process. On another note, we have a new team here after being without one for a couple weeks. They seem really cool. There is a high school group here form Florida and coming latter tonight is a college group from James Madison University. Not going to lie I really do like it when there are no teams here only because I get a lot of down time to reflect and just be in Gods presents, but I think this is going to be good for me this week just to get back in the grove of things. So once again, here we go!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
What A Week!
What a week this has been so far! So much has happened in just the last few days but lets start from the beginning…
Saturday we took a day trip to Santiago, which was really cool just to get away form the house for the day and see another part of the Dominican that we really haven’t seen yet. It was raining though which limited our site seeing which was a bummer but we did get to do some shopping at La Sirena. This very large store reminds me a little of a Wal-Mart back home but in my opinion a lot better. The first floor, yes there are two stories, is a grocery store, and the second has everything else, cloths, shoes, electronics, books and all kinds of stuff. We bought a lot of much needed groceries for dinner making and such. To celebrate one month of being here we went to TGIF's! So good! I didn’t think I was missing American food until I was given the chance to eat it. This little outing was a great diversion for me for a while, I was really missing some people this weekend with TEC going on and all and wanting to be a part of it. Not a feeling I want to have anymore because it was really not fun, but a friend here reminded me that I am here and they are all over there, and as much as I think of them they still have there lives at home and stuff going on. It was a good thing for her to say to me at that point even if it was hard to hear. I know you are all keeping us in prayers and I thank you all for that!
Sunday was another relaxing Sabbath. Only got out of my PJ's to go to church in the afternoon, I am really starting to love the church that we go to here, the people there are so excited to worship the Lord and it show in the way they worship!
The first part of this week was relatively uneventful. Monday and Tuesday were as much at the norm could be at Genesis on any given day. Tuesday night we had our IBS (Intern Bible Study), which was awesome! It reminds me a lot of our Sunday group, All In, although nothing could replace you all who have been apart of that group this past year, it is nice to be able to have something like that here for us. These nights are always fallowed up with a game of Dutch Blitz! I was pretty proud of myself this night because I blitzed 3 times, which is defiantly a record for me since I am always in the negative, but because I blitzed 3 times I didn’t really care all that much!
This is where my week at Genesis got pretty crazy and we still have one more day left, crossing our fingers here! So Wednesday started out really good, I had a fun session with Alfri who is so cute, and then I thought that it would be fun to work with Henny, a really sweet girl in her own way but I love her to death! We were working with scissors and I was showing her how to use them and cut on a strait line and you know normal therapy stuff and she is doing great I am encouraging her to keep going and keep cutting and all of a sudden she takes her child's scissors and cuts right across her finger... so me not really a blood person, scrambles to find some gauze in the cupboard to put pressure on her poor finger which is now bleeding so bad... rushing her down the hall to find Amy, my hands and arms covered in blood but I am not really caring at this point because Henny is crying and looking at her poor hand like, ok so what are you going to do about this, come on now... Ends up she gets 5 stitches and comes back to school as happy as can be her finger wrapped up and waiving her hand in the air all happy, so good ending to this story. While Amy and Jeff, who took on the roll of ambulance driver, were gone to the clinic, Jordani fell of a swing and scraped his knee and hit his nose which took more gauze and band aids to fix up. So needless to say we went out for ice cream after school.
Today I was working with Maribel in the classroom, when another teacher came in saying that one of the boys, Jordani, had cut a classmates ear, Jonathan, with scissors. Really! So I don’t know how many stitches latter but he came back to school all bandaged up as well kind of back to normal he doesn’t really speak all that much but he seemed ok, we will see tomorrow. The kids were terrors today! You couldn’t turn your back without one of them doing something during our recess/ lunch break. So another day deserving of ice cream, only this time with Vicki. I love our talks, she asks a lot of hard questions for me to answer but she is trying to break me out of my shell which is what I need.
So yea one more day to what has become a long week, and then a three day weekend here as they celebrate there independence day! Don’t know what I will end up doing, there are some different things that have been offered or suggested, white water tubing which I will defiantly say no to, but thanks for the invite, a movie in Santiago which would be super fun, and I can defiantly stay here and get some reading done and enjoy the quiet. So we shall see.
Life is good here in the Dominican Republic!
Saturday we took a day trip to Santiago, which was really cool just to get away form the house for the day and see another part of the Dominican that we really haven’t seen yet. It was raining though which limited our site seeing which was a bummer but we did get to do some shopping at La Sirena. This very large store reminds me a little of a Wal-Mart back home but in my opinion a lot better. The first floor, yes there are two stories, is a grocery store, and the second has everything else, cloths, shoes, electronics, books and all kinds of stuff. We bought a lot of much needed groceries for dinner making and such. To celebrate one month of being here we went to TGIF's! So good! I didn’t think I was missing American food until I was given the chance to eat it. This little outing was a great diversion for me for a while, I was really missing some people this weekend with TEC going on and all and wanting to be a part of it. Not a feeling I want to have anymore because it was really not fun, but a friend here reminded me that I am here and they are all over there, and as much as I think of them they still have there lives at home and stuff going on. It was a good thing for her to say to me at that point even if it was hard to hear. I know you are all keeping us in prayers and I thank you all for that!
Sunday was another relaxing Sabbath. Only got out of my PJ's to go to church in the afternoon, I am really starting to love the church that we go to here, the people there are so excited to worship the Lord and it show in the way they worship!
The first part of this week was relatively uneventful. Monday and Tuesday were as much at the norm could be at Genesis on any given day. Tuesday night we had our IBS (Intern Bible Study), which was awesome! It reminds me a lot of our Sunday group, All In, although nothing could replace you all who have been apart of that group this past year, it is nice to be able to have something like that here for us. These nights are always fallowed up with a game of Dutch Blitz! I was pretty proud of myself this night because I blitzed 3 times, which is defiantly a record for me since I am always in the negative, but because I blitzed 3 times I didn’t really care all that much!
This is where my week at Genesis got pretty crazy and we still have one more day left, crossing our fingers here! So Wednesday started out really good, I had a fun session with Alfri who is so cute, and then I thought that it would be fun to work with Henny, a really sweet girl in her own way but I love her to death! We were working with scissors and I was showing her how to use them and cut on a strait line and you know normal therapy stuff and she is doing great I am encouraging her to keep going and keep cutting and all of a sudden she takes her child's scissors and cuts right across her finger... so me not really a blood person, scrambles to find some gauze in the cupboard to put pressure on her poor finger which is now bleeding so bad... rushing her down the hall to find Amy, my hands and arms covered in blood but I am not really caring at this point because Henny is crying and looking at her poor hand like, ok so what are you going to do about this, come on now... Ends up she gets 5 stitches and comes back to school as happy as can be her finger wrapped up and waiving her hand in the air all happy, so good ending to this story. While Amy and Jeff, who took on the roll of ambulance driver, were gone to the clinic, Jordani fell of a swing and scraped his knee and hit his nose which took more gauze and band aids to fix up. So needless to say we went out for ice cream after school.
Today I was working with Maribel in the classroom, when another teacher came in saying that one of the boys, Jordani, had cut a classmates ear, Jonathan, with scissors. Really! So I don’t know how many stitches latter but he came back to school all bandaged up as well kind of back to normal he doesn’t really speak all that much but he seemed ok, we will see tomorrow. The kids were terrors today! You couldn’t turn your back without one of them doing something during our recess/ lunch break. So another day deserving of ice cream, only this time with Vicki. I love our talks, she asks a lot of hard questions for me to answer but she is trying to break me out of my shell which is what I need.
So yea one more day to what has become a long week, and then a three day weekend here as they celebrate there independence day! Don’t know what I will end up doing, there are some different things that have been offered or suggested, white water tubing which I will defiantly say no to, but thanks for the invite, a movie in Santiago which would be super fun, and I can defiantly stay here and get some reading done and enjoy the quiet. So we shall see.
Life is good here in the Dominican Republic!
Friday, February 18, 2011
Another One Come and Gone...
Tonight we said goodbye to our second outreach... This week went by so fast but I feel like I got to know the women that were assigned to Genesis pretty well. They were all so on fire for what they wanted to do here and I think that they all will leave with a little piece of them here and go with something that God and the people here gave to them. It is so great being able to see the changes in people in just a short week here, and I really should not be surprised because I can just look at my own life and see what God has done through this ministry here.
Wednesday we went to Melvin’s house for our "dinner in the community" night. Every time I go to his and his mothers house I am reminded of just how much I have and am humbled by what they have. You can see the love that his mother Gladys has for Melvin, and what Melvin has to share with you is just amazing! I have heard his testimony twice now and both times I have been moved to tears. He is a 21 year old who has CP and yet it doesn’t effect the way that he shares with people all of what God has done in his life and how this struggle has only made him and his faith in the Lord that much stronger. In the past few years he has written 12 songs all of which show a little piece of his testimony, it is so awesome!!!
I also wanted to share a little on a devotional that we had this week and again I have never thought of this verse in this way before and found it very cool! It is in Matthew 6:19-34 where it talks first of "Treasures in Heaven" and then "Do Not Worry." You can totally look at these two separately but when put together it becomes something completely different. And being in ministry and the mission field right now it kind of hit home in a different way. Where your treasures are there is where lies your worries... So how can your heart be in it, if it is with something else that you are worried about? And so how are we to go out and serve when we are always worried about whatever we are always worried about, relationships, finances, life in general, ect. So in taking the step to come here I put all worries aside I had thought and let God take complete control of some situations which was great but I need to learn to put all situations in His hands and not worry say about what I am going to do in August when I get home and let Him show me what that is in His own time.
So defiantly some cool stuff this week! I am excited for the next few weeks where we will have no teams here but will be ready for the next one to get here by then I think. I hope to have pictures up by tomorrow afternoon of this weeks outreach so cheek out Facebook for updates!
Wednesday we went to Melvin’s house for our "dinner in the community" night. Every time I go to his and his mothers house I am reminded of just how much I have and am humbled by what they have. You can see the love that his mother Gladys has for Melvin, and what Melvin has to share with you is just amazing! I have heard his testimony twice now and both times I have been moved to tears. He is a 21 year old who has CP and yet it doesn’t effect the way that he shares with people all of what God has done in his life and how this struggle has only made him and his faith in the Lord that much stronger. In the past few years he has written 12 songs all of which show a little piece of his testimony, it is so awesome!!!
I also wanted to share a little on a devotional that we had this week and again I have never thought of this verse in this way before and found it very cool! It is in Matthew 6:19-34 where it talks first of "Treasures in Heaven" and then "Do Not Worry." You can totally look at these two separately but when put together it becomes something completely different. And being in ministry and the mission field right now it kind of hit home in a different way. Where your treasures are there is where lies your worries... So how can your heart be in it, if it is with something else that you are worried about? And so how are we to go out and serve when we are always worried about whatever we are always worried about, relationships, finances, life in general, ect. So in taking the step to come here I put all worries aside I had thought and let God take complete control of some situations which was great but I need to learn to put all situations in His hands and not worry say about what I am going to do in August when I get home and let Him show me what that is in His own time.
So defiantly some cool stuff this week! I am excited for the next few weeks where we will have no teams here but will be ready for the next one to get here by then I think. I hope to have pictures up by tomorrow afternoon of this weeks outreach so cheek out Facebook for updates!
Monday, February 14, 2011
One Month!!!
So in DR time exactly a month ago we were boarding a plane to come here!!! That is such a weird thing to think about! So much has already happened here and I can say that I am completely at home and only missing a few things... mostly family and my awesome friends. Time is just flying by here and sometimes I have to stop and be like oh yea I am in a different country right now!
This past week was really nice we didn’t have any teams here so we went to our sites each day and I loved the one on one time that I got to spend with the kid for therapy. It is scary how much I am getting to know each of them and coming to love each of them! I don’t want to even think about leaving yet and it has only been a month... These kids keep me laughing but also their way of showing love and affection is so much deeper, they defiantly keep me humble...
I love it here, I love the people, I love life right now! I never thought that I would ever feel this way about life, being exactly were I was supposed to be at the moment I was supposed to be in! God is good, All the time, God is good!
This past week was really nice we didn’t have any teams here so we went to our sites each day and I loved the one on one time that I got to spend with the kid for therapy. It is scary how much I am getting to know each of them and coming to love each of them! I don’t want to even think about leaving yet and it has only been a month... These kids keep me laughing but also their way of showing love and affection is so much deeper, they defiantly keep me humble...
I love it here, I love the people, I love life right now! I never thought that I would ever feel this way about life, being exactly were I was supposed to be at the moment I was supposed to be in! God is good, All the time, God is good!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Day 22!
Yet another beautiful day here in Jarabacoa and an even awesome day at Genesis if that is even a word I don’t know but it works for me! I have been kind of settling down into a routine with the kids and putting together a schedule for therapy and I like the rhythm that I am in right now, although it defiantly goes up and down with day to day occurrences. Please be praying for this little girl named Beranice at Genesis, she has a lot of home problems right now and we are super worried about her...
Ok so I have started to feel that a blog every day is kind of hard to do so I might be cutting back on them a little to maybe twice a week or so but don’t worry I will still be posting everyday happenings here in Jarabacoa! So until then!
Ok so I have started to feel that a blog every day is kind of hard to do so I might be cutting back on them a little to maybe twice a week or so but don’t worry I will still be posting everyday happenings here in Jarabacoa! So until then!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Day 21
So three weeks today! And today was pretty great! It was my first day working without a team and by my self so I loved the one on one time that I got to spend with the kids today. It is so quiet around here right now and it is giving me a lot of time to think and reflect, (unless I fall asleep in a hammock, which happened today), which could potentially good thing, I like it!
So yea just a quick update today more to come later for sure!
So yea just a quick update today more to come later for sure!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Day 19 and 20!
What a weekend it has been! I absolutely love it here! Yesterday was a very relaxing day with the exception of our excursion to the coffee factory here in Jarabacoa...and were I stepped off the truck and rolled my ankle, it was fun lol. I fell kind of hard on my hand I guess and it is bruised pretty good and my ankle is a little swollen but its all good because I am in a beautiful place doing Gods work and life has never been better! I was able to catch up on some reading and quite time and nap time lol.
Jeff, Beth and I also went shopping because starting today we had, have, to make our own meals for the next week so we grocery shopping in Jarabacoa, kind of fun! And dinner tonight turned out great! We made spaghetti, it was pretty awesome if I do say so myself! We got some ice cream and sat in the park to eat it and I was like we never do this in the states! It was so cool to jsut sit there!
I love Sundays here, I probably say that every week, sleeping in a little getting up and sitting outside on the steps for a while taking some quite time and drinking some coffee before the day starts, it is so relaxing and so Dominican! I really hope that I will be able to continue this when I am back home! After seeing the Hume team off this morning we had a leisurely afternoon before we went to church where I understood about half of what was being said and could kind of see where he was going with his sermon for the other half which is an improvement for me!
This week is going to be so different with no team here but I am really excited to work with the kids one on one! So until tomorrow maybe lol I am kind of failing on a day to day blog but I will defiantly keep trying!
Jeff, Beth and I also went shopping because starting today we had, have, to make our own meals for the next week so we grocery shopping in Jarabacoa, kind of fun! And dinner tonight turned out great! We made spaghetti, it was pretty awesome if I do say so myself! We got some ice cream and sat in the park to eat it and I was like we never do this in the states! It was so cool to jsut sit there!
I love Sundays here, I probably say that every week, sleeping in a little getting up and sitting outside on the steps for a while taking some quite time and drinking some coffee before the day starts, it is so relaxing and so Dominican! I really hope that I will be able to continue this when I am back home! After seeing the Hume team off this morning we had a leisurely afternoon before we went to church where I understood about half of what was being said and could kind of see where he was going with his sermon for the other half which is an improvement for me!
This week is going to be so different with no team here but I am really excited to work with the kids one on one! So until tomorrow maybe lol I am kind of failing on a day to day blog but I will defiantly keep trying!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Day18
Today was and awesome but kind of a sad day here for us... The Joshua Hume team is leaving us early Sunday morning and it was there last day at sites. It has been great to see how they have connected with the people here in the Dominican Republic but it was really hard for them to say good bye just after the two weeks that they have been here. The banquet tonight was great and the media team that they had down here did an amazing job with there final video, you will have to cheek out there website to see if they put it on there to watch it!
Tonight Josh started a dodge ball tournament with the team that will continue tomorrow night, lets just say its kind of intense and fun to watch! Defiantly a highlight with this team, but there are way to many others to count!
I cant believe that we are closing out our third week almost, here in the DR it has been great so far and God has been teaching me a lot about myself and where he wants me... He is good!
Tonight Josh started a dodge ball tournament with the team that will continue tomorrow night, lets just say its kind of intense and fun to watch! Defiantly a highlight with this team, but there are way to many others to count!
I cant believe that we are closing out our third week almost, here in the DR it has been great so far and God has been teaching me a lot about myself and where he wants me... He is good!
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